Ever since Lila came to us at eight weeks of age I’ve had my eye on this toy duck. A nearly life-sized plush duck that quacks. Given Lila’s destructive streak, for months I restrained myself from buying one. But as her first birthday approached, I thought the time might finally be right and I placed an order.

The toy took ages to arrive, but when it did, neither Phil nor I could make it quack. We poked and prodded all its body parts, but mute it remained. It seemed we’d bought a dud duck. When I called the shop to arrange an exchange, it emerged that our duck was not a dud, but merely a delicate creature…vocalising only in response to just the right touch. Oh well. Lila’s clever. Surely she’d figure it out (even if we hadn’t).